My first thought was, “No, I don’t. I don’t have __________, or _______, or __________, or _______.” (I stopped writing gratitude in my journal in January, so when I do write, it’s been more to vent or “process.”) Then I sat for a minute. My dear astute onlooker continued to share with me that, even though I want to “process” each experience where I feel so lacking, that if I could just let go and move forward today, knowing that I do indeed have all that I need, I might feel lighter.

I wanted to weep. The moment was transformative. I did feel lighter. And I am moving on to let go of past grievances, issues, and moments of dismay to fill my heart and mind with love.

I looked in the mirror later that morning, and I was amazed at the woman I saw–a woman of beauty and wisdom. I’m not sure I’ve seen her before, but I am so excited to get to know her.

Change is an interesting thing. It can be exciting. It can be scary. It can be welcomed. It can be hard. It can mean progress. It can mean regression. But one constant about change is that it happens around all of us, to all of us, and in all of us. And it always means some sort of transition.

I’ve been faced with some interesting changes and transitions lately: new school year, new friends, new insights and experiences; challenges, choices, and bittersweet consequences. Some of these changes have been awesome (as in, I change my study habits and my grades miraculously improve!), and some of them have been really, really tough. There have been many misty-eyed moments and more than a few tears shed as I’ve faced a few things I really didn’t want to deal with as well as things that fill my heart with so much joy that it overflows and spills out my eyes.

And through all of this, I really feel like I’m making progress. I’m learning to accept the change that inevitably comes. I’m learning that change is ok. I’m learning that, no matter what, there is always somebody there who supports and loves me. I’m learning to see the blessings that surround me even in the face of difficulties. And I’m learning to see each and every day as the new start that it is. If you are doing the same, I’d love to hear about it. It’d be really nice to know that, somewhere in this big world, there’s somebody who’s going through the same thing I am. Let’s support each other, huh?

Ten years ago, we were counseled by a loving church leader to have activities which united our family. We were doing many things already, but made a more diligent effort to connect our children. We often talk about having “two sets of children” because of the age difference of the oldest two and youngest three. This church leader had a similar situation in his family. Because my husband and I were older, he remarked that, similarly to their family, our older children would possibly become the surrogate grandparents for our youngest children’s children. Their family found that bonding experiences with all the children had such a profound positive payoff (don’t you love alliteration?) that he recommended we do the same thing. We listened and followed his counsel. What a great gift he gave to us in his words. We have noticed that our children are in constant contact with one another. They share their hopes, fears, dreams, successes, difficulties and treasure their moments of connection.

Yesterday, I observed, as I often do in times of struggle or trial for a family member, that we have done something so right. My youngest son had to have surgery. Many prayers have been offered by our children, ourselves, our extended family members and our friends.

I sent a text to each of my siblings and children when he was taken back for surgery and when we received favorable results. Their texts back to me contained love and support. Later, yesterday afternoon, I watched as each one called our home to check on their brother. One said, “I didn’t just want a text that the surgeon was pleased. I want to know more.” Some were able to speak with him because he was awake and some just spoke with me. But over a two hour period, each of my children called home.

My parents instilled in my siblings and myself a desire to stay connected. We have continued that connection to our children. So, yesterday, as I observed each of my children calling to check on their brother, I realized we have done something so right.

Can you share with us ways that you empower connection in your family? We love to hear from you.

As I have gone through this experience, I have wondered how many of us have similar “leaks” in how we think about ourselves. Perhaps, buried deep underneath the layers, is a small leak of just a drop every now and then. Maybe, someone said an unkind remark to me. I shrugged it off, but nonetheless, a drop of self esteem leaves my heart every now and then.

As time goes on, I may misinterpret something and, you see the leak gets bigger and bigger until, there is not much left of my feeling good about myself. I have noticed that when I am tired or my body is sick, then I have more trouble seeing the good in myself.

A few years ago, I asked a good friend to write down the attributes she saw in me. I am so appreciative that she sent me an email with the things she treasured in me. I also asked my daughters to do the same thing for me. On those days when I just don’t feel well or I don’t feel like I accomplish anything, I can re-read the lists and start to empower myself to accomplish the things I need to do.

Empower yourself this week by:
• Asking a trusted friend, family members or your spouse to write down 10 things they admire about you.
• Make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself.
• Assume the positive about yourself (we do it for others all the time).
• Keep a journal of the good things you do every day. Refer to this list when you are on overwhelm.

Today, the leak is fixed. Water flows through our home again. Hurray!!!!! And no matter what lies ahead, I can find the right people, people who love me, to help fix the leaks other people try to inject into my self esteem. I am special. There is no one in the world exactly like me.

I noted a plaque recently in a store which said, in pretty brown swirly writing, something like:  ”Dance as if no one is watching, Love like you’ll never get hurt, Sing as if no one is listening, Live like it’s heaven on earth.”  I liked that statement.  Last week’s blog talked about worrying through life, and I suppose writing it has helped me focus on how my life really does work out, and how I am ready to stop stressing, be myself, and really “Live!” (Thus this week’s title…)

Have you seen any of these movies lately in the romantic sci-fi life-altering genre like “The Adjustment Bureau” or “Source Code?”  I ClearPlayed “Source Code” last week, and the message I took from it was to live life to its fullest–sort of a carpe diem type of theme–you never know when your life will change…so make the most of every moment to laugh, love, live, dance, sing.

Yesterday, I sat in church kind of nonchalantly singing a hymn when I noticed the woman next to me didn’t even crack open her hymn book.  Well, those of you who know me know that I LOVE to sing…but yesterday I guess I was distracted and wasn’t really feeling the desire to sing.  But, looking at this lady, who I know cannot now sing because she experienced some type of cancer in her throat, moved me.  She can talk, faintly, which I am sure she counts as a blessing, but singing is not an option for her anymore.  Suddenly I felt the urge to sing out, to sing strong, to sing as if no one was listening–open, uninhibited, ready to shout praises in music to the rafters.

Well, I’m gonna leave you this happy Monday with one of my MPowering songs and send you to go out into the world and LIVE!!!!!  You can do it.  I believe in you.  And the world needs you.  I need you.  Hugs till next week…and happy listening.  Your life is unwritten.  Pick up your pen.  Put on your dancing shoes. (Or go barefoot, like I do!)  Raise your voice.  Open your heart.  Together we can make heaven on earth.

I had another of those “aha” moments this week. We have adopted a friend whose husband passed away and her family lives far away, so she needed to have a family here. We became that family. She called me Monday morning to ask me to take her to the doctor. I live an hour away from her, but the timing of her appointment was such that I could go to her house and get her to the doctor on time.

After the doctor appointment, it is our custom to go to lunch. She always takes home the extra to eat for dinner. This way, she has two meals that she doesn’t have to prepare when she is not feeling well. We did this on Monday.

As we were driving home, she apologized for “bothering me.” I assured her that she didn’t bother me and then the absolute truth poured out, “I just love you.” She knew it was true. I knew it was true. It was an empowering moment.

There is a song which speaks about remembering a moment in our life. This was one of those moments that I will remember and treasure.

Love is empowering. As we share our love and give our time and attention to others, they are empowered. Who will you empower today just by showing love?

And I sat there completely dumbfounded.

I expressed my shock, and asked him why on earth I fit into that category. He told me. I was still a little flabbergasted, but I regained composure and we continued our conversation.

But, I mean, seriously. I don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me before; I didn’t really know how to deal with it. Which might explain why I am thinking about it all. the. time. and trying to figure out how to handle such a high compliment.

So I thought about it. And I pondered. And I read Karin’s blog from Monday, and I thought and pondered some more. And the thought came to me, “do you know how amazing you are?”

Now, I’m very blessed. I have family members and friends and loads of people who tell me how much they love me and appreciate me and think I’m great. In addition to (and probably partly as a result of) that, I like to think that at least most of the time, I have a fairly healthy self-image and sense of personal worth. But do I, Marta, know how amazing I am? How amazing am I? What does that mean?

See, I’ve been pondering love and life and boyfriends recently. Many of my friends are really upset because they don’t have boyfriends. Many feel inadequate because they’re not married. Some of them feel that they are the only ones among their group of friends who aren’t married/having kids…and they’re 18.

And it sort of drives me crazy that still, in this day and age, there are women in American society that feel that somehow they are invaluable, incomplete, and/or incapable of happiness or validation without a man in their lives. I just want to put my arms around them (and maybe shake them a little bit) and declare loudly that it’s not true! Being single and being happy are NOT mutually exclusive.

Let me put the brakes on and clarify one thing before we go on, though. I’m NOT saying that women and men don’t need each other. I’m not saying that relationships are unnecessary. And I’m certainly not denying the fact that healthy relationships between men and women bring a special kind of happiness into both individuals’ lives. All I’m saying is that a woman doesn’t need to sit around and wait for Prince Charming (or any other creature possessing a Y chromosome) to show up in order to feel like a valid human being.

Case in point: me. (This isn’t meant to be shameless self-promotion; I just know my life better than I know anybody else’s, so I’m going with what I know here.) I’m a capable, responsible adult who knows how to do her own laundry and dishes and can cook an entire meal (several, in fact) from salad to dessert from scratch (and everything but the desserts without a recipe). I have my bachelors’ degree and am currently obtaining more education. I play six instruments and speak three languages. I have awesome friends and a wonderful family, all of whom are supportive of me as I live my dreams. Do I need a rock on my finger to make my life awesome? NO. My life is awesome anyway, with or without a man.

Now, here’s the deal. I’ve shoved my opinion on you; I want to hear yours. Do you think that people, women or men, can lead fulfilling lives in the absence of a romantic partner? Or, more specifically, do you think one cannot be truly happy and fulfilled until one is married? I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts–especially if they are different from mine

How excited I am for you! You are finally beginning to understand just how wonderful you are! During the last few years, I have watched you as you were hurt over and over again by people who claimed to be your friends. I tried to help you see that they were not good for you, but there were so many voices telling you that you weren’t smart enough or pretty enough or all the other things you were told, all of which were lies. I don’t know why some people have to put others down to feel powerful.

Now, you are beginning to see yourself as you truly are. I hear the excitement in your voice as you come to realize that you are a true friend. I love to talk to you about the new friends you are making after leaving behind those who were “poison” to you. You are free! I see how you stand taller and your smile is brighter. I love that your days are now more positive.

You have always been wonderful! You are special just the way you are! I am so grateful that you are beginning to see it too. Keep empowering yourself by looking at yourself as you truly are. Don’t ever listen to the negative voices from the world. Listen to the inner voices that tell you how fabulous you are. I know you can do it.

Love,
Me