So yes, it is this high paced society that most of us find our place in today. If you do not have some sort of big thing that you are working on or toward at the moment, chances are, that is going to change really soon. Many of us have jobs or are looking for one (which in itself can be a full-time job), many of us are in school or some sort of a structured learning endeavor, many of us have families to take care of, communities that we are involved in, responsibilities in our churches, goals to help others through service, just to mention a few things that occupy our time. I know for me, it seems overwhelming, especially when I hit a crossroads where something I have been doing ends and I am about to dive in head first in the next big thing.

Being able to organize my time and stay focused has been, and still is, what makes or breaks what I am working toward. Having a positive attitude has become everything. When I let myself get worried or overstressed I have more problems. However when I choose to swim rather than sink, to do something rather than just let something happen, to act and not be acted upon by any other source, that is when I get things done. I have discovered through experience that when we make a choice to be easygoing things go easier. Like in the words of one of my favorite songs, “Live Like We’re Dying” by Kris Allen, “We’ve only got 86 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away.”

Which are you gonna choose?

This morning, as I was trying to decide how I felt, I turned on the tv for company. My daughter had to be at school at 4:45 a.m. and my son has a church class at 5:45 a.m. (This is one of the many times I am thankful for a good husband who carries more than his share of the load.) As I scanned the channels, I stopped on a program called “Power of Attitude” taught by Dr. Dale Henry. I love listening to his perspectives. He mixes humor and his real life experiences to teach us life lessons. One of the educational channels frequently carries programs he has recorded.

This morning, he talked about how we can change our attitudes. I have frequent migraine headaches and I find that I have to pay attention to my attitude when I am in a headache cycle. This one seems to be caused by the weather. So, as a good student, I decided to take a walk down memory lane and look at the things we did accomplish.

The most important thing that happened was a wonderful family activity where we travelled back in time together. We spent time getting to know each other and supporting each other in our new adventures lying ahead. Most of all, we just loved each other.

Time together is empowering. I spoke with my oldest daughter recently about the calm that has come to her children as a result of our time together. We all feel empowered to “slay the dragons” (the boys will like this phrase) or climb the mountains of our lives when our families stick together, support and love each other.

Last week, my sister had all of us over after church. Her oldest son had just returned from serving a mission for two years. It was a glorious reunion! We were blessed as we talked, and laughed and cried tears of joy. I was empowered by the thought my sister gave to me as I left her home.

She told me that she thought of me as she was reading a scripture about hope. She said that I always say, “things will get better after we get through _____(fill in the blank).” How right she is! But, I had never thought about my being hopeful. She pointed that out to me. Thanks Suz. Thanks to my family for empowering me. How grateful I am for family and friends.

See, when we look for the positive instead of the negative, we are empowered.

Until I step outside, that is.

Sometimes, it even starts before I walk out my front door, and no amount of brushing, scrunching, or blowdrying seems to make a difference, and I am stuck with every woman’s dread: a bad hair day (*shudder*). I have a few options at this point, most of which simply involve my resigning myself to my bad hair fate.

So why am I talking to you about bad hair days, anyway? Perspective, my friends, perspective. See, bad hair days are something everybody has to deal with. They’re basically inevitable….just like the other slightly less-than-desirable things that happen in our lives. But dealing with them well or poorly depends very much on how we look at them.

My sister once told me that she was having a “ponytail day.” I had absolutely no idea what that meant. She explained that she doesn’t like to call them “bad hair days,” so she calls them ponytail days instead. Thus, she focuses not on the negativity or what she can’t do (like get her hair to lay as flat or voluminously as she’d like), but rather on what she can. She makes the best of her situation and focuses on the positive. (Not to mention that she gave me fodder for my blog, lol… )

So here’s the take-home message: there will be plenty of things you can’t do. There will be things that you can do, and want to do, but you have other priorities. There will be days when your hair will look bad, no matter what you do to it. You know that. But what do you do? You focus on the things you can. You do the important tasks first. And you put your hair up in a ponytail and celebrate that it’s out of your face for a change. Congratulations on the times you already do that–it’s hard, and you’re doing great! Because we could all improve, I hope you’ll remind yourself a little more often that you may not choose what happens to you, but you always get to choose what happens because of you.

If we remember that, we’ll change the world…one ponytail day at a time

Not all days are sunny ones though, and that fact seems tragic to me at times. All I will want to do is go outside but find the rainy weather an automatic turn off of the trip outdoors. Or perhaps I find the forecast to be cloudy or windy or any number of other hindrances of my sunshine enjoyment. It’s those rainy or cloudy or windy days that force me to find some other way to spend my time. Cooped up within the walls of my home I often begin my work with a less enthused attitude. But as time goes on, I find a way to adapt to a new working environment.

Although it is not sunshine, the rain is necessary for things to grow. The water soaks into the soil of plants wishing for nourishment and hydration. Water is wonderful. Rain is wonderful as well and the sooner I appreciate it the better.

So it is with our lives. There will be times of sunshine, when nothing could possibly feel better, as will there be times of rain, forcing us to get comfortable inside. The flow of life and challenges often give us cause to adapt. I’ve been thinking about this lately and have come to the conclusion that, just like plants, we need both sunshine and rain.

And then there is the whole argument about bananas and other foods that are perfectly normal when they sit in the cabinet for days and weeks. You don’t have to heat up or cool down a banana in order for it to be enjoyable. The room temperature doesn’t destroy or even phase it really. Now, extreme situations would still cause a problem but the everyday environment doesn’t.

Come along with me now as I make this apply to the power of personal attitude. We are all in this same world, or room temperature if you will, and yet some people are thriving in this environment and others aren’t. Some people are happy, and some people are gloom and doomy. Some people take what happens to them and use that event to allow them to progress, while others allow situations to spoil them. Some people allow every moment to dictate their emotions and others take action to overcome their weaknesses. Some people freak out over every little thing and others let it roll right off their shoulders. Some people are like bananas and others like an ever-melting milkshake.

You have the choice to dictate your reaction to the environment around you. The room temperature is not likely to change unless you do, and it will most definitely not refreeze your milkshake by leaving it out on the counter. It’s your choice to have a good attitude. It’s your choice to not let the little or big things bother and even destroy you. Every moment in your life is an opportunity for you to decide to be a banana or a melting milkshake. Which one will you choose today?

A few years ago, (I always give away my age when I talk about things that happened “a few years ago”-depends on your definition of few) anyway, back to the subject at hand. A few years ago, a show came on television called Remington Steele. I loved this show! It was about a detective agency,…I digress again. I think it was the second season, second episode where Laura (the main female character played by Stephanie Zimbalist) and Remington Steel (the main male character played by Pierce Bronson) were outside Laura’s house when it exploded. So, Laura is sitting on the fireplace in Remington Steele’s apartment.  It is dark.  It is raining, and she finally cries. He comes out of his bedroom and comforts her by telling her a story of a man who saved for years to buy a ship so that he could work for himself. As the ship was coming into the harbor, it caught on fire. As a young man, Remington thought that his boss would be mad. Instead, he laughed and said, “Just think of the possibilities.” The story may have happened a little differently (it is coming from my memory), but the important part of the story is correct.

We all have growth experiences in our lives. It is how we look at things, how we see our position in life, that makes a difference for us. If we look at “the possibilities” then we learn what we need to know and can move forward in our lives. If we hover over the negative things going on in the world around us, then we can be paralyzed and become negative ourselves. There are many reasons not to do this. Although, as I talk to people, it seems the “easy” thing to do is to dwell on the negative aspects of life.

When I was younger, I discovered that I did not want to wallow in self-pity. So, I gave myself a deadline. I am allowed, occasionally (very rarely, or I miss the point of the exercise), to feel sorry for myself. I can be sorry for myself for up to 24 hours and then I have to let it go and move forward. As the years have gone by, I find that I can’t live in self-pity for very long. I have to “look for the silver lining.” There always is one, you know.

So, empower yourself and your family by letting go of the frustrations; fill your heart with faith and move with power into the next year as you “consider the possibilities.” Life is good and we are so blessed to live in this time where there are so many good things for us to be a part of. Remember to “just think of the possibilities.”

By the way, Laura ends up with a beautiful apartment….

What will you do to empower yourself with the possibilities for the good things in life?