Ten years ago, we were counseled by a loving church leader to have activities which united our family. We were doing many things already, but made a more diligent effort to connect our children. We often talk about having “two sets of children” because of the age difference of the oldest two and youngest three. This church leader had a similar situation in his family. Because my husband and I were older, he remarked that, similarly to their family, our older children would possibly become the surrogate grandparents for our youngest children’s children. Their family found that bonding experiences with all the children had such a profound positive payoff (don’t you love alliteration?) that he recommended we do the same thing. We listened and followed his counsel. What a great gift he gave to us in his words. We have noticed that our children are in constant contact with one another. They share their hopes, fears, dreams, successes, difficulties and treasure their moments of connection.

Yesterday, I observed, as I often do in times of struggle or trial for a family member, that we have done something so right. My youngest son had to have surgery. Many prayers have been offered by our children, ourselves, our extended family members and our friends.

I sent a text to each of my siblings and children when he was taken back for surgery and when we received favorable results. Their texts back to me contained love and support. Later, yesterday afternoon, I watched as each one called our home to check on their brother. One said, “I didn’t just want a text that the surgeon was pleased. I want to know more.” Some were able to speak with him because he was awake and some just spoke with me. But over a two hour period, each of my children called home.

My parents instilled in my siblings and myself a desire to stay connected. We have continued that connection to our children. So, yesterday, as I observed each of my children calling to check on their brother, I realized we have done something so right.

Can you share with us ways that you empower connection in your family? We love to hear from you.

Recently, I was speaking with one of my daughters and she asked why she had to go through a difficult time. I responded that if we learn the lessons we need to progress in our lives, then the difficulty is worth it. If we do not learn life’s lessons, we have experienced a painful process for no reason. So, I encouraged her to look for the lessons she needed to learn now and focus on those experiences.

We have been told by many sources that pain is remembered and if we live in the present moment, we don’t have to re-experience the pain over and over. One of the ways we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and not live in the fear of past events or the fear of possible future events, is to pay attention to our breathing. While we do this, we can ask ourselves some questions.
• Am I safe? If the answer is “yes,” proceed accordingly. If the answer is “no,” get quickly to somewhere safe.
• Is what I am feeling real in this moment or is it from the past? If the answer is that the painful experience is real, then try to allow yourself to feel the pain and them move on. If the painful experience is in the past, allow it to stay in the past.
• How can I help others? When we are travelling a difficult path, the best way to move forward is to look for ways to help others. We often find that we can put our problems into perspective when we help someone else.

There are other questions you can ask yourself, but don’t try to complicate the process. Keep it simple and allow yourself to feel what you feel (this is not an excuse to lash out at others); then allow your mind to process those feelings. Holding on to negative feelings, experiences and emotions get us nowhere. If we are not moving forward, we are moving backward.

Empower yourself and those around you by letting go of the past, focus on the moment you are living right now and enjoy the journey. How will you do this today?

As I have gone through this experience, I have wondered how many of us have similar “leaks” in how we think about ourselves. Perhaps, buried deep underneath the layers, is a small leak of just a drop every now and then. Maybe, someone said an unkind remark to me. I shrugged it off, but nonetheless, a drop of self esteem leaves my heart every now and then.

As time goes on, I may misinterpret something and, you see the leak gets bigger and bigger until, there is not much left of my feeling good about myself. I have noticed that when I am tired or my body is sick, then I have more trouble seeing the good in myself.

A few years ago, I asked a good friend to write down the attributes she saw in me. I am so appreciative that she sent me an email with the things she treasured in me. I also asked my daughters to do the same thing for me. On those days when I just don’t feel well or I don’t feel like I accomplish anything, I can re-read the lists and start to empower myself to accomplish the things I need to do.

Empower yourself this week by:
• Asking a trusted friend, family members or your spouse to write down 10 things they admire about you.
• Make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself.
• Assume the positive about yourself (we do it for others all the time).
• Keep a journal of the good things you do every day. Refer to this list when you are on overwhelm.

Today, the leak is fixed. Water flows through our home again. Hurray!!!!! And no matter what lies ahead, I can find the right people, people who love me, to help fix the leaks other people try to inject into my self esteem. I am special. There is no one in the world exactly like me.

I had another of those “aha” moments this week. We have adopted a friend whose husband passed away and her family lives far away, so she needed to have a family here. We became that family. She called me Monday morning to ask me to take her to the doctor. I live an hour away from her, but the timing of her appointment was such that I could go to her house and get her to the doctor on time.

After the doctor appointment, it is our custom to go to lunch. She always takes home the extra to eat for dinner. This way, she has two meals that she doesn’t have to prepare when she is not feeling well. We did this on Monday.

As we were driving home, she apologized for “bothering me.” I assured her that she didn’t bother me and then the absolute truth poured out, “I just love you.” She knew it was true. I knew it was true. It was an empowering moment.

There is a song which speaks about remembering a moment in our life. This was one of those moments that I will remember and treasure.

Love is empowering. As we share our love and give our time and attention to others, they are empowered. Who will you empower today just by showing love?

Whatever was your dream, why did you give it up? Were there people who told you that you couldn’t accomplish your dream? Was it the negative voice in your brain that told you? Or, did you just decide you were not good enough, worthy, smart enough…?

It doesn’t matter what the reason, I am here to tell you that you can accomplish your dream. MPowerGen.com was begun to help mothers and families realize that we can achieve our dreams. So, I have two assignments for you today, an experiment for you to try.

• First, print out Karin’s blog from last Monday. Fill in the blanks. I felt empowered just by completing the form. It is not always easy, but it will bring fantastic benefits to look at just how amazing you are. Read your completed form at least daily.
• Second, look in the mirror and tell yourself: “I am enough, I am worthy, I am amazing!” During the day, repeat this exercise without using the mirror, just say the words and mean them. (Even if you don’t mean it at first, keep trying and one day, you will discover that you do mean it.)

It will take you 1-2 minutes to review your form and to say the words each day. You can say “I am enough” while you brush your hair. “I am worthy” could be spoken while you wash dishes or laundry. Say, “I am amazing” while you drive your car or walk through your house. You figure out when is best for you.

One morning last week, I was doing a quick inventory of the difficult times in my life in the past few years. Unexpectedly, the thought came out, “I am amazing.” When the thought came, I knew it was linked to this process. I was surprised, but realized that I do hard things and I do good things, even when the world around me is bitter, cold and nasty.

Try it for 30 days. Be consistent. If you skip a day, no beating yourself up and giving up are allowed. Choose to be empowered. Choose to believe in yourself. You are enough! You are worthy! You are amazing! Believe it!

Last week, I was speaking with a new and dear friend about the hardness of life.  We spoke about the struggles that were all around us.  Yet, there was not one word of complaint.  We talked about having the strength to get through the next day, the next week, month and year and being able to get through the struggles with grace.  Not to put on a happy face for the world, but to help empower our children to know that they can do hard things.

In the last year, I have gone through many changes in my life.  I reflect on the lessons I have learned as I have journeyed through the last two years.  I often ask myself if I am learning the lessons I need to learn from my experiences.  I sometimes record the lessons I am learning in my journal.  I am grateful for these lessons.  I know that one of the most important lessons that I have learned about myself is that I am stronger than I think I am.

As I spoke with my friend, I pointed out to her that she, too, is stronger than she thinks she is.  I don’t know what life will bring to her, but I know that she will be standing straight and tall at the end of it. 

Some days are tough.  Some days are easy.  Some days are sad and some days are joyful.  As my daughter once said, “We must have joy in the journey.”  I absolutely agree.  Another daughter shared recently that she has stopped writing a daily log of what she has done, but right now is writing daily what she is grateful for.  It helps her to look at all the good things in her life. 

I am not a great journal writer.  There are times when I write magnificently.  But, for most of my life, I write occasionally.  Recently I decided to write a journal about the miracles in my life.  When I look for them I see then all around me.  What type of journal will you write?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Here I go again, getting easily sidetracked. 

‘Back to my original thoughts for today.  I have an assignment for you.  Take a look back at your life.  This is not an “I am not good enough” look.  Take a look back at all the struggles you have survived and try to find the lessons you have learned.  Then, try to remember if there were times when you didn’t think you could survive.  Guess what?  You did survive because there is power in being stronger than you think you are.  I know this is true. 

Sometime I think about the strengths I have gained from my family.  I have an Aunt who went back to college in her fifties after surviving the illness and death of her husband.  (That is an empowering story for another day.)  When I need to feel that I am strong, I think of all the strong members of my family, especially the women. 

Empower yourself and your family by acknowledging the strengths you have.  Share those strengths with others.  I can’t wait to see how differently the world feels to all of us as we empower each other.

I have a friend who longs for the same support from family. I try to include her in my family. We invite her to family gatherings for holidays and we feel that she “belongs” to us. She is a part of our family now. We talk on the phone about our children, grandchildren and the day to day activities of life. She gives me pointers for my garden and we share lunches together sometimes. I took her some blueberries.

When I am sad or afraid or just too tired to go on, I think of my family. I visualize each face and play back in my memory the songs, the words, the looks and most importantly, the love I feel from my family. I then have the courage and strength to go on; to move forward; to reach for the stars.

One of the most important phrases we can share with one another is “you’re gonna make it.” The support of your belief in someone else is a most precious gift. Whether you reach out to a family member by birth, or a family member by choice, show your love to your family today. You will empower that person to “keep moving forward.”

Spending 2 days without power is an adventure. Spending 2 days without power in a new place is an additional adventure. But, fate smiled on her…

And she met a stranger, a young woman living in the apartment upstairs. This person, filled with compassion, allowed my daughter to sleep in her apartment. A new friendship is born because of the “kindness of a stranger.”

She actually has met many people who have been kind to her as she adjusts to a new life. Her advisor has helped put her schedule in order, the bookstore allowed her to return books she didn’t need and she has been blessed by the kindness of many strangers.

I, too, have been blessed by the kindness of strangers. I will never forget when I had a flat tire. I was on my way to take my oldest two children to school. We drove 45 minutes each way so that they could attend a Montessori school. One day, I was driving and my tire went flat. I had dropped off something at my Grandma’s house, so we were not on the interstate. I pulled into the parking lot of a shopping center.

Empower someone that you don’t know well.  Perhaps, someone in the grocery store, the library, the doctor’s office as you wait.  Talk to the person.  Encouragement and support always are valuable gifts.  Maybe you can be the memory 28 years later…

I have been thinking about this recently and wondering how my life may have impacted others. I first became aware that what we do to help another is not always remembered by us. I was in Junior High School. One of the most popular girls in the school asked if she could write in my yearbook. I thought this was unusual since we had a few classes together, but were not really friends. Still, I gave her my yearbook. I was so surprised to read a thank you note for helping her when she skinned her knee. I didn’t even remember helping her, but the memory returned upon reading her inscription.

Occasionally, the event comes into my mind when I least expect it. I wonder how I can thank others and be more grateful for the small moments of assistance he or she may give me.

My parents moved in with us a few months ago. Both were very ill. My father was worn out from taking care of my mother, who decided to give up and not take control of her health. It was very difficult as I have health issues of my own. A woman from church who knew that my parents moved in with us, said to me one day, “It is a difficult adjustment, but you will make it.” Just a few words in a very short interaction, but those words and the loving kindness with which they were given brought me hope that all will be well.

And you know… after these few months, we have adjusted. Take courage and realize that even when you aren’t aware, you are doing good for others. Empower yourself today in that knowledge and perhaps even look for a way to help someone else. Perhaps a thank you note or a phone call expressing appreciation is a good idea.

Thomas Leonard said, “Love is a way to gift yourself to others.” I have thought about the gifts of others I have received in my life through their loving words and actions. I had a friend who would bring dinners to my family, sometimes when I was sick or others were not feeling well. Sometimes, she would bring me dinner for no reason at all. I had another friend who always remembered my birthday. One day, I came home to a big balloon bouquet at my front door. I have friends who call and chat. I have friends who support me when life is hard. I have family and friends who show love to me in countless ways.

I have thought about how I could give more gifts of myself through loving words and actions. My resolve is to be more purposeful in showing my love for others. It is empowering!